[Genesis Radio HQ] – [Feb 11th, 2025] – Well, folks, this is it. After all the apocalyptic metal tracks, doomsday-themed playlists, and late-night rants about the end of the world, Genesis Radio might finally get to broadcast live from ground zero of an extinction-level event.
NASA’s latest tracking data confirms that asteroid 2024 YR4, a cosmic troublemaker roughly the size of a city bus, is on a direct collision course with—of all places—the Genesis Radio studio. That’s right. Out of all the places in the universe, the universe itself has apparently decided that this station is where the chaos should unfold.
Reactions within the Genesis Radio team have ranged from mild concern to full-on celebration.
“Well, if we gotta go, we’re going out LOUD,” said Doc, the station’s program director, while adjusting a playlist to include Raining Blood, The Final Countdown, and Don’t Fear the Reaper. “I just hope the asteroid doesn’t interrupt House Calls. That would be rude.”
DJ Lady B, upon hearing the news, reportedly responded with, “Does this mean I’m off the hook for the metal show?”
While some radio stations might use their final hours for solemn reflection, Genesis Radio is doubling down on what it does best—blasting high-energy tunes and taking requests, even if they’re for songs about impending doom.
Listeners are already calling in with last-minute requests, with top choices including:
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) – R.E.M.
Highway to Hell – AC/DC
Asteroid Blues – The Seatbelts
Burning Down the House – Talking Heads
Meanwhile, Brice Mull, co-station manager, was seen outside looking up at the sky and shouting, “THIS BETTER NOT MESS WITH MY SHOW LINEUP.”
NASA scientists, in a last-ditch effort to reassure the public, have stated that the asteroid might miss Earth entirely, but Genesis Radio is taking no chances. If the worst happens, the station has prepared a backup plan: a 24-hour, automated “Doomsday Mix” featuring only the heaviest metal, the darkest synth, and whatever the hell Crazy Train qualifies as.
Until then, the party continues. Tune in while you can, because either the asteroid misses us, or we’ll be the first radio station to livestream from a smoking crater.
Stay tuned. Or don’t. We might all be space dust by tomorrow.
Genesis Radio: Playing until the very last second… literally.
